Giving birth to the new me…

I’m about to embark on a new chapter in my life. Some might say it’s a gentle slowing down, some might say it’s fitting for my age, I say it’s vital for my health and wellbeing.

I have been on a self styled sabbatical for nine months. I equate it to a miraculous conception type pregnancy where I stripped everything back in my life to the basics of just returning to being a human being.

And now I feel like I’m ready to give birth to the new me.

I’ve spent months searching for, and finding, real joy. Reconnecting with friends that felt lost to me, finding new people that tick all the boxes for a physical enlightenment, gravitating towards energies that fill rather than empty the soul, leaving behind the lost continent in favour of the new, travelling light through lands and emotions that were worthy of exploration and interest.

Because sometimes when we immerse ourselves in work we can lose sight of that, can’t we?

With the weight of life sometimes, and getting lost in the suit pockets of a toxic cloudy haze, we can look in the mirror and not recognise what’s looking back. You can wipe away the steam but it leaves streaks in its wake.

To recognise, acknowledge and take practical steps, even baby ones, to look inwards instead of outwards takes courage, fortitude and a kind of reckless abandon.

This has been my nine month growth.

During that time I’ve done lots of things I’ve wanted to do for a while but kept putting off. It will be waiting for me, won’t it, was always the logic. But what if you never get there, what if you don’t make it, what if it stays eternally out of reach?

So, I chased the lone tree, I drove a jeep on a sandy beach highway in search of wild horses, I travelled 1000s of miles to see orangutans in their natural habitat, I swung high over rice paddy fields, I welcomed in the new year in China, I hopped on trains, planes and bus lanes and I walked and hiked the highest peaks, I worked on my fitness, I grew my natural grey out and said goodbye to hours in the chair chasing a colour that had long since faded, maybe a colour that belonged in a different time and a different age.

I worked on my CV, not really because I needed to pursue the next big thing, but because it focused on all that I had achieved during my 30+ year career and this was important to recognise and digest. It was also important to see how that path had unfolded. To unpick what had driven me so that I could assess the journey clearly.

I applied for less than half a dozen jobs, astounded and stunned by the endless and never ending job descriptions that now define COMMS. Make videos, create graphics, write strategies, curate content, use marketing techniques, be organic, be paid-for, swing upside down in the hope you catch some of the work thrown at you and you might not fall awkwardly into the net while everyone in the corporate circus watches you fall and the clowns cry quietly in the corner, falling over their boots which inevitably are a size too big.

There was just one job that caught my feels, made me think, stirred my loins. It was a ‘lesser’ job on paper than my previous roles. But I hadn’t felt excitement like this for many years. I’m in pursuit of ‘more’ – not money, nor recognition, nor professional gain, but something more human.

So, at the end of my birthing trip, I’m due to take on the role of Finance Communications Officer at the University of Birmingham tomorrow. It’s totally focused on internal comms for a big team. And everyone knows what I’m like with numbers and excel spreadsheets, so this should be a weird fit that might or might not add up? But isn’t that the point? Finding new ways to tell stories, stop playing the numbers game, and just focus on the human.

I’m going to be bringing up baby on this one. It will just be me and a big group of people to celebrate and promote. Definitely worth the nine months’ wait. And only for a year on a temporary contract, so it’s wonderful to have a proper timescale on introducing change, laying foundations and making a small difference.

Hopefully it will be the kind of rebirth that involves nurturing and creates growth.

And although my career spans many years, isn’t it wonderful to be talking about new beginnings? In some ways, my journey’s end isn’t quite in sight, but I’m definitely on the road to a new kind of enlightenment that’s taking me places. In the right direction, at last.