On a recent solo road trip to Northern Ireland I was both taken with & slightly irritated by the constant questioning about whether I was on my own.
Firstly, booking things for one person (especially hotels) seems to be a real issue and I have no idea, to this day, why I need to pay the same price as a double when it’s just me. I just need one towel, less water, less coffee and I don’t make half as much mess when I’m on my own.
But even checking in, when I’ve made it clear on the booking form it’s just one person, at every place I’ve stayed on this trip I’ve been asked – ‘is it just yerself?’ – I’ve looked over both shoulders every time and said: ‘well, yes, I’ve booked a room for 1. Does it say something different on your computer system? Shall I expect unexpected company?’
It’s not just hotels. All the tickets I’ve booked for the tourist stuff it’s the same, is it just you? Even the ferry. The woman knelt down and looked around my small car, just one person? Well yes, I said, that’s what I’ve booked. And there’s nothing on earth fitting in my boot that’s vaguely human.
Why? Why is this? What’s the obsession with safety in numbers? I did take time on my solo adventures to look around me and take stock of numbers as it seemed to be so important to everyone but me. Yes, it appears that nobody wants to travel alone, everyone wants to hunt in packs, and it did seem as if I was the only solo traveller in the world. I’m guessing people need constant affirmation? Or company?
This wasn’t always a bad thing. Lots of people wanted to talk to me (a bit like Dougie & Jeanette in Shirley Valentine who insisted she eat with them because she was on her own). Women, in particular, wanted to know my story and were chatting to me in bars & while I walked – probably because they were bored with listening to their husbands talking about work. I didn’t mind. I’m used to being the oddity. But they were hungry for the story, I could see it in their eyes. I think it’s called the yearning for escape. But it’s not the 1800s – do I still need a chaperone?
The most difficult thing I think for women travelling alone is the evening meal. Last night I was directed to a table for four. I remonstrated with the waiter. I just wanted a simple table for one, where it looked like I was purposefully dining alone, not sitting waiting for people who hadn’t turned up. He shrugged his shoulders. I felt uncomfortable.
Why can’t hospitality be geared up for the solo traveller? Why do we need to be earmarked as an oddity when all we want to do is enjoy some food & wine and a little bit of ‘me’ time.
It seems odd in this day and age to still have to conform to being the couple or the family, and actually I didn’t really see any men on their own either. Is that because it’s just too difficult being singular?
I went into a bar in Belfast and ordered a pint of Guinness and the barman asked what I’d be having – I said I’ll be having the Guinness and pour me a whiskey chaser, too. He looked dazed.
In truth, I booked and paid for my entire trip, I carried my own bags, drove my own car, planned my own route and was responsible for my own joy. Is this really so hard to believe in this day and age?
So yes, it’s just me self! And these are just a few observations. I don’t think I’m a loner, but sometimes you just want to crank up George Michael in your car really loudly, get the top down and pull in to a bay that you think looks interesting without having to get anyone’s opinion on it.
Is it just me?
Mags Winthrop Blog 