There’s nothing particularly normal about being a writer but getting to the submission stage can be a bit like getting involved in a sado masochist act. Your hands are tied and what follows is steady stream of pleasure and pain that will have you screaming in agony and ecstasy.
You think the hard bit is turning yourself inside out to give birth to words, living with people inside your head for months as you grow with your characters. It’s a bit like falling in love – all heady and romantic with gentle struggles in between as you wrestle with plot & storyline. But then you get to the submission stage and realise that actually writing the book was child’s play – submission is strictly for adults only!
Suddenly you’re divorced from the writing process and find yourself forced to edit out all the bits you allowed yourself to wallow and indulge in – the cliches, the flowery adverbs, descriptive dialogue that left you breathless. Suddenly you’re forced to get down to business and whip your product into shape.
It’s time to tie yourself up in knots. First there’s the synopsis. You’re only allowed one side of A4 & there’s conflicting advice. Do you dictate the story or do you tease the reader? Do you not pull any punches or do you tickle them with a feather? Do you write some clever fancy book ‘blurb’ or stick to the facts? It’s a dungeon filled with traps designed to trip you up and leave you in a position of complete helplessness.
Then you’ve got to write a brief ‘bio’ of yourself (what if you’re getting on a bit and have led an eventful life? How brief can a life be?) Should you be active or passive, take yourself seriously or approach it with humour and wit? Do you swing between professional and personable or do you wear a mask of shameful disguise?
And finally (will the torture never end?) there’s the carefully planned & perfectly executed submission letter. Tell us why you think your novel is different, exciting, new, challenging, breathtaking… Tell us why you think you are different, exciting, new, challenging, breathtaking… Tell us why you’ve chosen to send your work here… Is it because we’re different, exciting, new, challenging, breathtaking…?
Can you hear a million silent writer screams as we try to make ourselves fit into this exhausting game of role play?
As a sensitive wordsmith you’re battered and exhausted by this – it’s a cat and mouse game whereby you flog yourself almost to death.
Submitting your work to agents, magazines, publishing houses is like putting yourself forward for a regular spanking. You’re chained to the process and then often you’re left hanging in the air for months on end while your words lie gasping for breath in an office somewhere and your battered character waits with trepidation for its inevitable assassination.
The pleasure and pain. Grin and bear it – it’s all you can do. It’s not called submission for nothing.
Whatever you do, don’t let it beat you.
“I’ve solved the mystery: You have to submit silently. Open up, let go. Let anything penetrate you, even the most painful things. Endure. Bear up. That’s the magic key! The text comes by itself, and its meaning shakes the soul … You mustn’t let scar tissue form on your wounds; you have to keep ripping them open in order to turn your insides into a marvelous instrument that is capable of anything. All this has its price.”
Klaus Kinks'<strong
Mags Winthrop Blog 